🚨 WHO IS TEACHING OUR CHILDREN RIGHT FROM WRONG?
The Missing Moral Compass: When Parents Surrender Their Responsibility to the Schools
Scriptural Foundation: Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
By James Langston | Senior Pastor, Pilgrim Outreach Ministries International
HAVE WE BEEN ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION?
We hear it almost everywhere.
"What's wrong with this generation?"
"Why don't young people respect authority anymore?"
"Why don't children know the difference between right and wrong?"
And perhaps the most familiar accusation:
"PARENTS AREN'T TEACHING THEIR CHILDREN RIGHT FROM WRONG!"
But before we place all the blame on today's young people—or even their parents—I believe we need to ask two questions that are often overlooked.
FIRST: WHAT MORAL COMPASS ARE WE USING TO DETERMINE RIGHT FROM WRONG?
SECOND: WERE THE PARENTS THEMSELVES TAUGHT BIBLICAL RIGHT FROM WRONG, OR WERE THEY TAUGHT SOMETHING ELSE?
Friend, there's a difference.
And that difference may be far more important than we realize.
Because if parents were never taught a consistent moral foundation, what exactly are they passing along to their children?
And if society continues redefining right and wrong according to changing opinions, personal preferences, cultural trends, or convenience, what happens when one generation attempts to teach the next?
These are not merely educational questions.
They are spiritual questions.
They are family questions.
And they are questions that every Christian parent, grandparent, pastor, and educator should be willing to examine.
WE CANNOT EXPECT OUR CHILDREN TO FOLLOW A MORAL COMPASS THAT WE HAVE NEVER TAUGHT THEM HOW TO USE!
1. GOD PLACED THE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY ON PARENTS—NOT SCHOOLS!
Proverbs 22:6 gives us a straightforward instruction:
"TRAIN UP A CHILD..."
Notice what Scripture says.
Train.
Not merely entertain.
Not simply provide food, clothing, and shelter.
Not just make sure they attend school and receive passing grades.
TRAIN THEM!
Training requires intentional instruction, repetition, correction, patience, encouragement, and personal example.
It requires parents to become actively involved in shaping their children's understanding of character, responsibility, honesty, integrity, compassion, and faith.
Deuteronomy 6:6–7 reinforces this principle:
"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children..."
Notice the order.
God's Word must first be in the hearts of those responsible for teaching it.
Then it must be passed along to the next generation.
That is significant!
YOU CANNOT CONSISTENTLY TEACH WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, AND YOU CANNOT EFFECTIVELY MODEL WHAT YOU REFUSE TO PRACTICE!
Schools have an important responsibility to educate children.
Teachers deserve our appreciation, cooperation, and respect.
But teachers cannot replace the responsibility that belongs to parents and guardians.
The classroom should reinforce appropriate values and responsible behavior.
It should never become the only place where children are expected to learn them.
2. WHAT MORAL COMPASS ARE WE USING?
Here's where the conversation becomes uncomfortable.
We frequently tell children to do what's right.
But right according to whom?
Their friends?
Social media influencers?
Popular culture?
Political movements?
Personal feelings?
Whatever happens to be acceptable at the moment?
People from different religious and philosophical traditions can share important moral commitments, including honesty, compassion, fairness, and respect for human dignity.
But as Christians, our ultimate authority for understanding God's will and moral instruction is Scripture.
Second Timothy 3:16–17 teaches that Scripture is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness.
That means biblical morality is not simply a collection of rules designed to control behavior.
It teaches us about God's character, our responsibility toward Him, and our obligations toward one another.
The Bible calls us to truthfulness.
Integrity.
Faithfulness.
Compassion.
Justice.
Mercy.
Self-control.
And love.
But here's the challenge.
ARE WE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES, OR ARE WE SIMPLY TEACHING THEM TO AVOID GETTING CAUGHT DOING SOMETHING WRONG?
There's a difference between teaching a child not to steal because they might go to jail and teaching them that stealing violates honesty, justice, and respect for others.
There's a difference between teaching a child not to lie because they'll get punished and teaching them that truthfulness reflects godly character.
And there's a difference between teaching children to respect others because it's socially expected and teaching them that every human being possesses dignity and deserves to be treated accordingly.
RULES MAY RESTRAIN BEHAVIOR, BUT BIBLICAL DISCIPLESHIP SEEKS TO TRANSFORM THE HEART!
3. BUT WHO TAUGHT THE PARENTS?
Now we come to my second question.
WERE THE PARENTS THEMSELVES EVER TAUGHT BIBLICAL RIGHT FROM WRONG?
Think about that.
We criticize parents for failing to teach their children.
But what if those parents were never properly taught?
What if they grew up in homes where biblical instruction was absent?
What if their own parents were overwhelmed, uninvolved, inconsistent, or simply unaware of their spiritual responsibilities?
What if they learned morality primarily through television, entertainment, social pressures, or whatever their peers considered acceptable?
Then those children became adults.
Those adults became parents.
And now another generation is learning from what they were taught—or from what they were never taught.
WHAT ONE GENERATION FAILS TO TEACH, THE NEXT GENERATION MAY NEVER KNOW!
This doesn't mean every child raised without religious instruction will lack moral character.
Nor does it mean that every child raised in a Christian home will automatically embrace biblical values.
Human beings make choices, and family circumstances differ.
But it does mean that intentional spiritual instruction matters.
And it means we should be concerned about parents who want to teach their children biblical principles but have never received that instruction themselves.
Rather than simply condemning them, perhaps the Church should be asking:
"HOW CAN WE HELP THESE PARENTS LEARN WHAT THEY WERE NEVER TAUGHT?"
That is discipleship.
That is ministry.
And that is a responsibility the Church should take seriously.
4. PUTTING THE BIBLE AND TEN COMMANDMENTS IN SCHOOLS—BUT IS IT ENOUGH?
Let me address something that has received considerable attention in recent years.
Efforts to place the Bible and the Ten Commandments in public schools have generated strong opinions.
Some Americans support these efforts because they believe students would benefit from greater exposure to biblical history, religious literacy, and traditional moral teachings.
Others raise concerns about religious freedom, government neutrality toward religion, parental rights, and the constitutional boundaries governing religious instruction in public education.
Those questions deserve thoughtful consideration.
Personally, I welcome opportunities for students to learn about the Bible and the profound influence of biblical teachings on history, culture, and moral thought, in ways that respect freedom of conscience.
But here's the question I want Christians to consider:
IF WE PUT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ON EVERY CLASSROOM WALL IN AMERICA, WILL THAT AUTOMATICALLY PRODUCE GODLY CHILDREN?
Of course not!
And that is the point.
A Bible sitting on a classroom shelf does not automatically produce biblical understanding.
A poster displaying the Ten Commandments does not guarantee that students will embrace their teachings.
And a school policy cannot substitute for a lifetime of parental instruction and example.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ON A WALL MEAN LITTLE IF THE PRINCIPLES THEY TEACH ARE ABSENT FROM OUR HOMES!
Consider this.
What good does it do to teach a child, "Thou shalt not bear false witness," if that same child regularly hears their parents lying?
What happens when children are taught to honor their parents but witness those parents constantly insulting and disrespecting one another?
What happens when we teach against stealing but excuse dishonesty whenever it benefits us?
What happens when we tell children to love their neighbors but demonstrate contempt for people who look, believe, or think differently?
Friend, children are observant.
They notice inconsistencies.
And sometimes the lessons they learn from our actions are far more powerful than the instructions they hear from our mouths.
THE MOST IMPORTANT BIBLE LESSON YOUR CHILD MAY EVER RECEIVE IS THE ONE THEY SEE YOU LIVING!
5. ARE WE USING THE SCHOOLS AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PARENTING?
Let me make something clear.
I have tremendous respect for teachers.
Many educators go far beyond their professional responsibilities to encourage, protect, and support children.
They often work with limited resources while facing extraordinary expectations.
But I believe we have a serious problem when parents expect schools to assume responsibilities that should begin at home.
Schools can teach reading.
Mathematics.
Science.
History.
Critical thinking.
And appropriate standards of classroom conduct.
But parents should not expect teachers to become the primary source of their children's moral identity, spiritual formation, personal discipline, and understanding of family responsibilities.
Those foundations should be developed through consistent guidance at home, with support from churches, schools, and communities.
Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
That responsibility requires more than attending a parent-teacher conference.
It requires involvement.
It requires communication.
It requires knowing who our children associate with.
It requires understanding what they're watching, reading, and learning.
It requires answering difficult questions.
And sometimes it requires admitting:
"I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, BUT LET'S SEARCH GOD'S WORD TOGETHER."
There is no shame in learning alongside your children.
But there is danger in surrendering your responsibility and assuming someone else will take care of it.
PARENTS, THE SCHOOL MAY HELP EDUCATE YOUR CHILD, BUT YOU MUST NOT ABDICATE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RAISE THEM!
6. CHILDREN LEARN MORE FROM WHAT WE DO THAN WHAT WE SAY
I want every parent and grandparent reading this to consider something.
What are your children learning when they watch you?
When you're angry?
When you're disappointed?
When someone mistreats you?
When you disagree with your spouse?
When money becomes tight?
When you're tempted to compromise your integrity?
Do they see prayer?
Do they see patience?
Do they see honesty?
Do they see forgiveness?
Do they see compassion?
Or do they see one standard preached on Sunday and another practiced Monday through Saturday?
Jesus warned against hypocrisy.
And children can recognize it long before they understand the word.
We cannot expect children to embrace values that we consistently disregard.
If we want them to be honest, we must demonstrate honesty.
If we want them to respect others, we must demonstrate respect.
If we want them to forgive, they must see forgiveness practiced.
And if we want them to love God, they need opportunities to see what loving God looks like in everyday life.
OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT JUST LISTENING TO OUR INSTRUCTIONS. THEY ARE STUDYING OUR EXAMPLE!
7. THE CHURCH MUST STOP ASSUMING THAT EVERY FAMILY KNOWS HOW TO DISCIPLE CHILDREN
Here's another concern.
Sometimes churches assume that Christian parents already know how to teach their children biblical principles.
But that assumption may be wrong.
Some parents are new believers.
Some grew up without consistent spiritual guidance.
Some have never been taught how to conduct family devotions.
Others struggle to explain biblical passages or answer difficult questions about faith.
And some parents are doing everything they can simply to keep their families together.
These families don't necessarily need another lecture about everything they're doing wrong.
They need practical help.
They need encouragement.
They need instruction.
They need examples they can follow.
And sometimes they need someone to come alongside them and say:
"LET ME SHOW YOU HOW."
Churches can help by providing parent discipleship classes, family Bible studies, mentoring, age-appropriate teaching resources, and opportunities for parents and children to learn together.
Older believers can encourage younger families.
Grandparents can share wisdom.
Pastors can teach biblical parenting without making struggling parents feel hopeless.
And congregations can provide meaningful support to single parents, grandparents raising grandchildren, and families facing difficult circumstances.
IF THE CHURCH WANTS TO SEE STRONGER FAMILIES, IT MUST BE WILLING TO HELP BUILD THEM!
8. A WORD ABOUT PROVERBS 22:6—TRAINING IS NOT A GUARANTEE OF PERFECT OUTCOMES
There is another important truth we should remember.
Proverbs 22:6 is a wisdom principle, not a mechanical guarantee that every child raised in a Christian home will always make the right choices.
Children eventually become adults.
They develop their own convictions.
They make their own decisions.
And sometimes, despite loving instruction and faithful examples, they choose paths their parents never intended.
That doesn't automatically mean their parents failed.
Nor should this Scripture be used to condemn parents whose adult children have wandered from the faith.
The passage reminds us of the enduring importance of early training.
It calls us to be faithful in our responsibility.
But it does not remove individual accountability or the reality of human choice.
Parents are responsible for teaching, guiding, correcting, encouraging, and loving their children.
They cannot control every decision those children will eventually make.
OUR RESPONSIBILITY IS TO PLANT AND CULTIVATE THE SEEDS OF TRUTH. WE MUST TRUST GOD WITH THE HARVEST!
9. A PERSONAL WORD FROM A FATHER, GRANDFATHER, PASTOR, AND MISSIONARY
After raising six children, serving 27 years in the United States Navy, and spending decades in Christian ministry, I've learned something about responsibility.
It's much easier to tell someone what they should do than to demonstrate how it should be done.
Parenting requires sacrifice.
It requires patience.
It requires consistency.
And it requires humility.
No parent gets everything right.
There are decisions we wish we had handled differently.
Words we wish we could take back.
Moments we wish we could relive.
But the answer isn't to abandon our responsibility.
It's to continue learning, growing, and doing the best we can with the wisdom God provides.
Here in the Philippines, our missionary work reinforces the importance of investing in children and families.
Educational opportunities matter.
Food and shelter matter.
Medical assistance matters.
But so do character, faith, compassion, and the development of responsible adults.
We want children to grow into people who understand not only how to make a living, but also how to live with integrity.
And that requires more than placing a Bible in a classroom.
It requires adults who are willing to open that Bible, study it, understand it, and demonstrate its teachings.
THE NEXT GENERATION NEEDS MORE THAN OUR OPINIONS ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM. THEY NEED OUR TIME, OUR GUIDANCE, OUR LOVE, AND OUR EXAMPLE!
10. SO, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
I believe we need to return to some basic responsibilities.
Parents: Become intentional about teaching your children. Don't wait for schools, churches, or social media to define their values.
Grandparents: Never underestimate the influence of your wisdom, prayers, and personal example.
Pastors and churches: Equip parents to disciple their children. Don't assume they already know how.
Educators: Continue teaching with professionalism, integrity, and respect for the diverse families you serve.
Communities: Support families who are struggling rather than simply criticizing them.
And to every Christian reading this message:
BE THE EXAMPLE YOU WISH THE NEXT GENERATION WOULD FOLLOW!
Don't simply complain that children no longer respect others.
Demonstrate respect.
Don't merely criticize dishonesty.
Practice truthfulness.
Don't condemn selfishness while refusing to help someone in need.
Demonstrate generosity.
And don't insist that children should know God's Word while leaving your own Bible unopened.
IF WE WANT TO CHANGE WHAT THE NEXT GENERATION LEARNS, WE MUST BE WILLING TO EXAMINE WHAT THIS GENERATION IS TEACHING!
🙏 A PRAYER FOR OUR CHILDREN, PARENTS, AND SCHOOLS
Heavenly Father,
Today, we come before You on behalf of our children, parents, grandparents, teachers, churches, and communities.
Lord, forgive us for the times we have neglected our responsibilities.
Forgive us when we have expected others to teach lessons that should have begun in our own homes.
Give parents wisdom to raise their children with love, patience, discipline, and understanding.
Help those who were never taught Your Word to discover its truth and learn how to share it with their families.
Strengthen single parents.
Encourage grandparents raising grandchildren.
Support families struggling financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Bless our teachers and school administrators with wisdom, patience, and compassion.
Protect our children from exploitation, abuse, harmful influences, and destructive choices.
And help our churches become places where families receive genuine biblical instruction, encouragement, and practical support.
Father, teach us to lead by example.
May our words be truthful.
May our actions be loving.
May our discipline be fair.
And may our homes become places where children experience the transforming power of Jesus Christ.
Help us raise a generation that understands responsibility, respects others, values truth, and recognizes the importance of serving those in need.
In the precious and holy name of Jesus Christ, we pray.
Amen and Amen!
❤️ A FINAL WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT
Before you criticize today's generation, ask yourself something.
WHO TAUGHT THEM?
And before you criticize the parents, ask another question.
WHO TAUGHT THE PARENTS?
We can continue pointing fingers.
We can continue blaming schools.
We can continue arguing about what should or should not appear on classroom walls.
But unless we're willing to address the responsibility of parents, families, churches, and communities, we may be treating the symptoms while ignoring the deeper problem.
I believe biblical instruction has a vital place in the Christian home.
But that instruction must be more than words.
It must become a way of life.
A BIBLE ON THE SHELF IS NOT THE SAME AS A BIBLE IN THE HEART!
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ON A WALL ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR GODLY CHARACTER IN THE HOME!
AND A CHILD'S GREATEST LESSON MAY COME NOT FROM WHAT WE TELL THEM TO DO, BUT FROM WHAT THEY SEE US DOING EVERY DAY!
So, parents, don't surrender your responsibility.
Grandparents, don't underestimate your influence.
Churches, don't neglect discipleship.
And Christians, don't merely demand that the next generation live by biblical principles.
SHOW THEM WHAT THOSE PRINCIPLES LOOK LIKE!
Because the question is not simply whether we're teaching our children right from wrong.
THE QUESTION IS WHETHER WE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE OURSELVES—AND WHETHER OUR LIVES DEMONSTRATE WHAT WE CLAIM TO BELIEVE!
📖 "Train up a child in the way he should go..." — Proverbs 22:6
📣 HELP US SHARE THIS MESSAGE!
If this message challenged you, share it with parents, grandparents, teachers, pastors, and anyone who cares about the future of our children.
Let's move beyond blaming the next generation and begin taking responsibility for preparing them.
Pilgrim Outreach Ministries International (POMI)
Your Feet to the Nations.
Help us help them—one soul at a time.
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