WIVES: YOUR FAMILY NEEDS MORE THAN WHAT YOU DO—THEY NEED WHO YOU ARE
What Is the Biblical Role of a Wife in the Family Unit?
Scriptural Basis: Song of Solomon 2:16; Genesis 2:18
“My beloved is mine, and I am his...” — Song of Solomon 2:16
There is something beautiful in those few words:
“My beloved is mine, and I am his.”
They speak of belonging.
Commitment.
Intimacy.
Companionship.
Mutual love.
Two lives joined together.
When God established the family, He did not create the wife as an afterthought. Nor did He create her as an inferior servant whose only purpose was to carry out her husband's wishes.
God looked upon Adam and said:
“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” — Genesis 2:18
Think about that.
Everything God had created had been declared good.
Yet God looked at Adam's situation and said:
“IT IS NOT GOOD.”
What was missing?
Companionship.
Partnership.
Someone suitable for him.
Then God created the woman.
A WIFE IS NOT LESS THAN HER HUSBAND
The words “help meet” have sometimes been misunderstood.
Some have interpreted them as though the wife were merely her husband's assistant.
That's far too small a picture.
Genesis describes someone corresponding to him—someone suitable for him.
A partner.
A companion.
A woman with her own gifts, wisdom, abilities, personality, calling, and relationship with God.
The husband and wife are not competitors fighting for supremacy.
THEY ARE PARTNERS BUILDING A LIFE TOGETHER.
Marriage should never become:
“Who is more important?”
The better question is:
“How can we glorify God together?”
1. A WIFE SHOULD LOVE HER HUSBAND
Song of Solomon gives us the beautiful declaration:
“My beloved is mine, and I am his.”
A healthy marriage needs affection.
Your husband needs to know that he is loved.
Not merely tolerated.
Not simply needed to pay bills.
Not valued only for what he provides.
Loved.
Tell him.
Show him.
Encourage him.
Make time for him.
Listen to him.
Pray for him.
Stand beside him.
Marriage can become so consumed with children, jobs, bills, appointments, church, school, housework, and responsibilities that husband and wife slowly become roommates instead of sweethearts.
Don't allow that to happen without a fight.
Remember the friendship.
Remember the laughter.
Remember why you chose one another.
Nurture your marriage.
2. A WIFE SHOULD BE A PARTNER
Marriage is not supposed to be one person dragging the other through life.
You are walking together.
There will be decisions to make.
Problems to solve.
Children to raise.
Bills to pay.
Dreams to pursue.
Disappointments to survive.
Losses to endure.
Victories to celebrate.
And through all of it, marriage says:
“WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.”
There may be seasons when your husband is strong and you lean upon him.
There may be seasons when he is exhausted, discouraged, afraid, or uncertain—and he needs your strength.
That's partnership.
3. A WIFE SHOULD RESPECT HER HUSBAND
Respect matters enormously in marriage.
That does not mean pretending your husband is always right.
He isn't.
Neither are you.
Respect means recognizing his dignity even when you disagree.
There is a tremendous difference between saying:
“Honey, I don't agree with you.”
and humiliating him, insulting him, belittling him, or attacking his character.
Disagreement does not require disrespect.
And husbands, the same applies to you.
A Christian marriage should be a place where two people can disagree without destroying one another.
4. A WIFE CAN BRING WISDOM INTO THE HOME
Never underestimate the wisdom of a godly woman.
A wise wife often sees things her husband doesn't see.
She may recognize danger.
Notice emotional changes in the children.
Discern problems developing within relationships.
See financial concerns.
Sense when something isn't right.
Bring another perspective to an important decision.
Husband, listen to your wife.
Her perspective matters.
And wife, don't underestimate what God may accomplish through your wisdom, prayer, discernment, and influence.
5. A WIFE HELPS CREATE THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE HOME
A house is made of walls, floors, windows, furniture, and possessions.
A home is something deeper.
Wives often have tremendous influence upon its atmosphere.
Your words matter.
Your attitude matters.
Your prayers matter.
Your encouragement matters.
Your faith matters.
Your kindness matters.
Your ability to bring peace into a difficult moment matters.
This does not mean the emotional condition of the entire household rests on the wife's shoulders. Husbands and children have responsibilities too.
But never underestimate your influence.
You can help make home a place where people know:
I am loved here.
I am safe here.
I can talk here.
I can pray here.
Jesus is honored here.
That's powerful.
6. A WIFE SHOULD PRAY FOR HER HUSBAND
Wife, when was the last time you seriously prayed for your husband?
Not:
“Lord, change that man!”
Although perhaps you've prayed that one a few times!
But when did you last pray:
“Lord, strengthen my husband.”
“Give him wisdom.”
“Protect him.”
“Guard his mind.”
“Help him resist temptation.”
“Encourage him when he's discouraged.”
“Help him become the man You have called him to be.”
There are battles your husband may never tell you about.
Pressures he may struggle to explain.
Fears he may keep to himself.
Temptations he may fight silently.
Responsibilities that sometimes feel heavier than he admits.
PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND.
Your prayers can reach places your hands cannot.
7. A WIFE SHOULD HELP POINT HER FAMILY TOWARD CHRIST
Your children need to see Mama pray.
They need to hear Mama talk about Jesus.
They need to see that your Christianity isn't merely something you put on Sunday morning.
Let them see you trust God when money is tight.
Let them hear you pray when someone is sick.
Let them watch you forgive when you've been hurt.
Let them see you worship when life is difficult.
Let them watch you open your Bible.
Children learn Christianity not only from what their parents teach—
but from what their parents live.
8. BEING A GODLY WIFE DOES NOT MEAN ACCEPTING ABUSE
This needs to be said plainly.
Biblical marriage is never a license for abuse.
Submission does not mean accepting violence, sexual coercion, threats, intimidation, humiliation, manipulation, or cruelty.
A husband cannot mistreat his wife and then hide behind Scripture.
If you are being abused, protecting yourself and your children and seeking appropriate help is not a failure of Christian faithfulness.
Godly marriage reflects love, dignity, faithfulness, truth, and care.
Abuse reflects none of those things.
9. YOUR CHILDREN ARE WATCHING YOU TOO
Just as children learn from their fathers, they learn from their mothers.
Your daughters are watching.
Your sons are watching.
They notice how you speak about their father.
They notice how you respond under pressure.
They notice how you handle disappointment.
They notice whether you forgive.
They notice whether you pray.
They notice whether the Jesus you worship at church is the Jesus you follow at home.
You don't have to be perfect.
Your children don't need a perfect mother.
THEY NEED A REAL MOTHER WHO REALLY FOLLOWS JESUS.
And when you make a mistake?
Let them see you apologize.
When you're overwhelmed?
Let them see you pray.
When God answers?
Let them hear you praise Him.
10. DON'T LOSE YOUR MARRIAGE WHILE BUILDING YOUR FAMILY
This is especially important once children arrive.
Mama becomes busy.
Daddy becomes busy.
Everybody needs something.
Meals.
Laundry.
Homework.
Appointments.
Activities.
Church.
Work.
Bills.
Before long, the husband and wife can spend every ounce of energy raising the family while unintentionally neglecting the marriage upon which that family was built.
Remember:
Before you became Mama and Daddy—
YOU WERE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
Protect that relationship.
Talk.
Laugh.
Spend time together.
Hold hands.
Go somewhere together when possible.
Pray together.
Dream together.
And every now and then, look at the person beside you and remember:
That's my beloved.
HUSBANDS, DON'T TAKE HER FOR GRANTED
This message may be about wives, but husbands need to hear something too.
Don't expect your wife to pour continually into everyone around her while nobody pours into her.
Notice her.
Thank her.
Encourage her.
Listen to her.
Help her.
Pray for her.
Love her.
She may be carrying far more than you realize.
Sometimes two simple words can mean an enormous amount:
“THANK YOU.”
WIVES, YOUR VALUE IS GREATER THAN YOUR TO-DO LIST
Your worth isn't measured by how clean the house is.
It isn't measured by whether dinner was perfect.
It isn't measured by whether the children behaved today.
It isn't measured by how much money you earn.
It isn't measured by whether you accomplished everything on your list.
You are more than what you accomplish.
You are a woman created in the image of God.
A wife.
Perhaps a mother.
A companion.
A prayer warrior.
An encourager.
A counselor.
A friend.
A woman whose influence may continue through generations.
Never underestimate what God can accomplish through a faithful woman.
TWO PEOPLE—ONE COVENANT
Song of Solomon says:
“My beloved is mine, and I am his...”
There is something wonderfully mutual about those words.
Not:
He exists for me.
Not:
She exists for me.
But:
“I AM HIS, AND HE IS MINE.”
Marriage isn't about winning a power struggle.
It's about covenant.
It's about two imperfect people learning to love, forgive, sacrifice, communicate, grow, and follow God together.
Husbands need wives.
Wives need husbands.
Children need mothers.
Children need fathers.
And every Christian family needs Jesus Christ at the center.
WIVES—YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU
Your husband needs more than what you do for him.
Your children need more than what you buy for them.
Your home needs more than your labor.
THEY NEED YOU.
Your love.
Your wisdom.
Your prayers.
Your presence.
Your encouragement.
Your faith.
Your voice.
Your example.
Your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Don't underestimate your place in your family.
God certainly didn't.
When God looked at Adam, He said:
“It is not good that the man should be alone...”
Then God created the woman.
Not beneath him.
Not as his enemy.
Not as his competition.
But as the companion suitable for him.
And thousands of years later, the words of Song of Solomon still beautifully capture the heart of marriage:
“MY BELOVED IS MINE, AND I AM HIS.”
🙏 A PRAYER FOR WIVES AND MOTHERS
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for wives and mothers and for the tremendous influence they carry within their families.
Strengthen every woman reading these words.
Give her wisdom when she doesn't know what to do, patience when the demands of life become heavy, courage when she is afraid, and peace when her heart is troubled.
Help her love her husband, encourage him, pray for him, and walk beside him through every season of life.
Help husbands treasure their wives, listen to them, honor them, encourage them, and never take their love or labor for granted.
Let our sons and daughters see marriages marked by love, respect, forgiveness, faithfulness, prayer, and grace.
And above everything else, may Jesus Christ remain at the center of our homes.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
WIFE—NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR PLACE IN YOUR FAMILY.
Love.
Encourage.
Pray.
Bring wisdom.
Be present.
Walk beside your husband.
Point your children toward Jesus.
Your greatest contribution to your family may not be everything you do for them.
It may be the woman of God you become among them.
HELP US HELP THEM—ONE SOUL AT A TIME.
Pilgrim Outreach Ministries International
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